Here I go again!

As any of my followers know, I have had a love hate relationships with diets. I have tried pretty much them all and I continue to work on the ME part so that I can became the women I am meant to be. One of the things that bogs me down is that I have never been able to truly control my weight.

So, here is the deal, this summer after much stress and a lot of traveling to be with my parents to help them. I got home the end of August and I was at the highest my weight has ever been. I was so embarrassed about this, that I completely, felt defeated. Now, while all this is going on my husband decided in June to join weight watchers, while he was happily losing weight, I was happily gaining weight, apparently I had found his, maybe because we sleep in the same bed, I  must have rolled over  on his lost weight and well it attached to me!!?!! isn't that a great idea?

Reality is that I didn't exercise, I sat in a car and drove from my home to  my parents which is exactly a 1373.10 mile drive which is about 22.1 hours, I took two and half days to drive it because my best driving is nothing past 8 hours, after that I am not able to stay awake, so with my safety and my kids safety in mind, I embarked on this journey.

Since, I have been home, I have lost 4.8 of those lbs on my own, just cutting out junk and ice cream. Ice cream is a huge downfall of  mine, especially when I am around my mother. My mother is 5'4 and petite she does not need to lose weight and she has ice cream every night of her life. My mother knows how to control what she eats most of the time, but to her bowl I could have double what my mother eats and then some. My mom could have ice cream twice or three times a day, but for sure every single night without fail. When we go grocery shopping its the one thing she makes sure is in her cart.

When I only lost 4.8 and no more, I decided that I needed to do something drastic because I have never been this heavy in my life, so my daughter and I decided to take this journey of weight loss and getting healthy together. Here is our journey.

I am 5'6 inches tall, I used to be 5'6" 1/2, tall, but with age comes some shrinking…sad day! When I stepped on the scales when I got back from my mothers house, I weighted 314.8, last Monday when I started this new venture I weighed in at 310.0, today my first weigh in I was excited to see that I had lost 8.6 lbs. I weigh 301.4 now.

What I started was the Take Shape for Life Program.. This program works with Medifast foods, and you buy the food from them. You eat 5 of their meals through out the day and 1 lean and green meal. I figured I could handle that because it was prepackaged and that would make it easier, and I wouldn't have to think all that hard. The first week was nothing of the horror stories I had heard. I didn't have cravings like some people do, I did not have a headache or feel dizzy. I felt sluggish the first two days and that was all. If I can figure out how to get my pictures on to this computer, I will put them on and add a current pictures to follow my progress.

Today, I opened up to someone about my weight, I couldn't see the reaction, but my heart has felt so heavy since. I have an easier time telling perfect strangers how much I weigh then I do someone I care about. Just one more reason to lose the weight, so I can feel good about myself and be able to not to consider myself as a number on the scale.

Throughout this journey I will not allow myself to focus on negative things. This days entry will be as negative as it gets. If I have a tough week (say Christmas) I will just be honest and make new goals.

My first real tangible goal is to lose 50 lbs, by a very important meeting I will be attending in February. The next goal is to lose 50 more lbs by June. That will leave me 61 by December 2015. I plan to exercise and diet. Once I get to a transition point I might change programs, but for now. I am starting with Medifast.